Archive for January, 2009
Dem Demons
You’re a young adult, full and free with a spring in your step. You have a few laughs, a few innocent beers. All is well as you skip down the street, minding your own business whilst getting insanely drunk, smashing a few windows and mugging a couple of old ladies – but beware! Lurking in the darkness are evilly evil demons, wanting to use you as their puppet / slaves / novelty fruit bowls (delete as appropriate).
So how to avoid having apples stored in your nether-regions for all eternity? Well, simply take a glance at my handy guide expertly researched from five minutes of thought, to learn the best way to fight the darkness! W00t!
Doctor Who – The Daemons
Who? Azal, last of the Daemons. And considering that a Daemon is a skinny gay hobo covered in fake chest hair (can’t quite see the medallion) and wearing a party-mask, this isn’t surprising. Perhaps the rest of the Daemons fell over and broke their masks, and couldn’t be bothered to tramp over to Poundland to pick up a replacement? › Continue reading
The Ten Worst Ideas in Doctor Who
So Matt Smith is the eleventh Doctor, and already the internet has not only exploded, but imploded with bitching about how he is too young, too pretty / ugly, not David Tennant, etc etc. People who have kids have reported them running upstairs crying, nerds on the internet have proclaimed Doctor Who is ruined forever, and Satan has popped out of hell, said “Cor, its a bit hot up here luv” and vanished again.
But lets get this into perspective. We’ve not seen Matt as the Doctor and that will be the deal breaker. Heck, I thought exactly the same about David Tennant when he got the role, that he was a nobody who wouldn’t be able to hold up to the greatness of Eccleston, and now he’s become my favourite Doctor ever. I’m sure there was even worse grousing when Sylvester McCoy was cast, and he turned out fantastic! Doctor Who is pretty hard to ruin forever. Sydney Newman, the creator said that he didn’t want any ‘bug eyed monsters’ in the show since that would ruin it, and the very second story featured the Daleks. We all know how that turned out!
So the jury’s still out. As I always say, the proof is in the pudding, and I am waiting with my bib and spoon out. As long as Matt gets a scarf to cover his freakishly long neck, I’ll be happy. And it could so easily be worse. The night before he was cast I had a dream that it was him playing the next Doctor, but that his companions would be four robot children! Below are the ten worst things that has ever happened in Doctor Who that still failed to ‘ruin the programme forever’. › Continue reading
Supernaturals
Ooh, spooky! In the mid 1980’s, the BIG thing was holograms – they were everywhere, from napkins to cars. Yeah. Actually on a trip to the Isle of Wight a few years back there was a hologram shop where the residents of the island would get their regular holograms, so I suppose they must still be popular. Anyhow toy designers, driving to work in their holographic cars and wearing their holographic clothes soon decided that kids would love holograms in their toys. But how to do this…? A list was made:
1) Make the toys flat cards with holograms of toys! The possibilities are ENDLESS, my friend!
2) Make an actual laser-hologram maker, letting the children make their own, as well as blinding their siblings forever
3) Glue any old crap onto a plastic action figure.
Sadly, they chose number 3. Actually loads of companies did, since we got Visionaries AND Supernaturals. Now I’m sure everyone remembers Visionaries, since they had the cool cartoon. But what of their little (bigger) brothers, the supernaturals? Unlike Visionaries, the Supernaturals weren’t afraid to hide their holographic powers – Visionaries had little removable holographic chestplates, whereas Supernaturals mocked useless and outdated features such as “faces” – they WERE holograms!
Yay – original packaging!
The figures themselves, instead of faces and chests, had a holographic sticker that showed these features… and could CHANGE APPEARANCES! (Only in direct contact with the sun. And no, I don’t mean sunlight…) › Continue reading
Transformers – Scramble City 2
As all good Transformer fans know (the bad ones don’t get a look in nowadays) the Japanese didn’t get Transformers as the Western world did. Instead of the movie there came to bridge the gap between the second and third seasons an Original Video Animation – Scramble City.
Using the theory of “Pay-For-This-30-Minute-Video,-Scum” they decided they’d make millions from selling it to little kids › Continue reading
Categories
Recent Posts
Archives
- July 2010 (3)
- April 2010 (1)
- January 2010 (1)
- December 2009 (3)
- September 2009 (1)
- August 2009 (4)
- June 2009 (1)
- April 2009 (5)
- March 2009 (9)
- February 2009 (16)
- January 2009 (24)
- December 2008 (29)
- November 2008 (16)
- October 2008 (16)