Archive for February, 2009

Transformers UK Comics – Prey

It seems I got a decently positive reaction from my last piece, so I’ll continue by looking at Prey. Now in an attempt to encourage people to buy the trades, I’ll look at the other story in the Prey TPB as well, Grudge Match.

Both of these were favourites when I was little. And one of the best things was that coming back to them as an adult (and a postgraduate student in English literature) was how fantastically well they were written, how well Furman can write both touching characterisation and epic plots interwoven in the same story, with just a tiny page count to do it in.

Aren’t I nice to you all!

So, without further ado…



We open with Optimus Prime reviewing the events of Target:2006, and worrying quite profusely. Namely that the first thing the Autobots did without him to let Megatron lead them, which given that he is commander of the Decepticons probably wasn’t the sanest thing do to. And now there is the added crisis of the Decepticon’s fully-operational spacebridge sending constant reenforcements. And shoud he die, what will the Autobots do then?

So he sets upon a… rather macabre plan – he will get Wheeljack to create a duplicate of himself so he can pretend to be dead and see how the Autobots will react, and at the same time as everyone believes he is dead, destroy the Decepticon’s spacebridge. Prime, you scally, its almost like reality TV! › Continue reading

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Thursday, February 12th, 2009 Media 5 Comments

Tabletop Role-Playing

I wish I were a role-player
My eyes so bright and gay
Be a drop-out student by night
And an evil dwarf by day › Continue reading

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Wednesday, February 11th, 2009 Tall Tales 2 Comments

Tony Lee On New Who Comics

 The New York Comic Con has been raging on, and one of the more interesting pieces of news coming out of it is that IDW, flush from the success of all their miniseries have commissioned a new Doctor Who ongoing comic. I was lucky enough to be able to catch up with begoateed British writer Tony Lee who is on the project to answer a few questions.

But Voord fans (yes both of you) will be disappointed…

Tony has in the past had a lot of success, not only writing the acclaimed Doctor Who miniseries The Forgotten, but also Starship Troopers, X-Men and an incredible amount of original work. It is said that if he ever stops writing then the world will blink out of existence.

On Mr Tony

1 – Have you ever dressed up as a giant pink Care Bear?

Yes. I have. Move on, Marshall › Continue reading

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Monday, February 9th, 2009 Media 6 Comments


The world is a wonderful place, right? The sun shines, the flowers glow… but wait, what’s that dark cloud on the horizon? Yes – it’s the dark cloud… of porn. Filthy old men in dirty overcoats, peddling their wares on street corners… but there is an even more… sinister side. More fiendish than weird Japanese tentacle fetishes, more insidious than German… TV. No, today the lid shall be blown wide open on…

Transformers Porn

(Don’t worry, this article is strictly PG rated. No, wait, don’t go!)

The internet was once a pure medium, a repository for those interested in films, games and bomb-making to pool their knowledge. But no more! My first inkling of a sickening, twisted underworld came when my good friend (no longer!) Neal, found, via, a weird, strange site. Sadly he was in a very public place when he did this, and so shouting “Hey Matt, come look at what I’ve found” probably wasn’t the best course of action. But what had he found? Two robots – Transformers – doing… stuff.

Yeah, I know

What I really want to know is who would spend valuable seconds of their life drawing stuff like that, as opposed to infinitely more constructive activities, such as sleeping, or typing pathetically unfunny articles on some third-rate website. There was only one person to investigate – only one hard-nosed reporter with the courage and bravery to pull through!

Sadly he was busy, so it had to be me. › Continue reading


Monday, February 9th, 2009 Random 3 Comments

Visionaries – Knights Of The Magical Light!

We’ve already seen Supernaturals, but what was that other great toyline of the 80’s that needed holograms in order to make them playable? Well, unless you’re blind, you’ll know I’m talking about Visionaries! 

There is no doubting that Visionaries toys rocked like Elvis meeting Boulder Hill. Approximately the same scale as GI Joes (not that I had any of those… American Heroes my ass) they weren’t little bricks, but instead had moving knees, elbows, legs, waists and heads. And more importantly their helmets came off and the accessories could get lost easily › Continue reading

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Friday, February 6th, 2009 Toys 6 Comments

Transformers UK Comics – Target: 2006

Recently there has been a surge of interest in Transformer comics generally, from the ill-fated Dreamwave era, to the steady IDW era. But how did it all start? What about the ones in the eighties? Surely they were just for little kids, and not worthy of a read by serious comic readers? Here, I plan to show you guys some of the best Transformers comics, and heck, comics period, that I have read. Prepare to be educated.

One of the defining points of my childhood was this thing. A little bit of background though first. The US Transformer comic was… mediocre at best. But when it came to porting it over to the UK there came a problem. UK comics were half the size pagewise of the US versions, but came out weekly (and boy, do I miss those days). So someone had to write more tales. Enter Simon Furman

Mr Furman didn’t just write filler stories to tread water until the US tales came out. He wrote massive, sweeping epics, small personal tales, which more importantly, didn’t contradict the US comics but made a massive universe. It actually became a story about this huge civil war fought by gigantic robots. And since they were robots, Marvel UK didn’t really care what he did. Some of my childhood nightmares were full of beheadings, eye-gougings and that one issue where the Autobot Micromaster military patrol were captured and dissected alive. Little Matty-Boy didn’t sleep much that week. › Continue reading

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Thursday, February 5th, 2009 Media 7 Comments

To Be There

The Transformers: Mosaic project is a fan-based project to get artists and writers working together to create fancomics.

Below is my piece, entitled ‘To Be There’ all about Astrotrain! This was part of a series set around the time of the IDW miniseries Megatron: Origin. I tried to make it self-contained and make sense even if you hadn’t read the mini. Did I succeed? Well, its up to you. Writing by me, Art by a rather fantastic artist I met over the internet, and colours by my buddy Mark.

Click the image for the big version!


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Wednesday, February 4th, 2009 Tall Tales 1 Comment

The Turtle Cooks! (SLOW-O)

Well, it’s been a little time since I’ve been at enough of a loss to bother myself with this place, hasn’t it? To be frank with you, readers, the great and benevolent Mr Turtlewind has been a little busy of late. The slightly esteemed footballer Mr Gordon Ramsay called round asking if I could do him a favour and let him film the last of his televisual series at Turtle Grange. It wasn’t going to be the last in the series originally, but he coincidentally happened to have a freak head wound after he looked in the ‘secret freezer’. The scamp. › Continue reading

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Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009 Turtlewind No Comments