Media
Usborne Puzzle Adventures
In the mid 1980s, books had become boring. All the kids wanted were either robots that turned into cars, computer games that CORRUPTED (such as Trapdoor) and drugs. The booksellers were desperate – how could they combine robots, corruption and drugs?
Well, they couldn’t, so Usborne instead ripped off those Fighting Fantasy books and created…
USBORNE PUZZLE ADVENTURES!
These things were the greatest – 44 pages of glory in which little kids had adventures where you had to help them! On every page was a puzzle, which you had to solve before you could turn the page. Failure to do so would render the story unreadable and useless › Continue reading
Doctor Who – Timelash
Ah, Doctor Who, that finest of all vintage programmes… that show that keeps on winning award for best tv programme year after year… that establishment of British sci-fi that has seen fans of lesser shows grit their teeth and snarl.
Of course, the problem with vintages is that it’s so easy to create some cork-ridden puddle of vinegar.
For every good Who story there is its opposite – A Twin Dilemma for every Caves of Androzani; a Revenge of the Cybermen for every Genesis of the Daleks… in the Tom Baker era, there were many, many classic stories, with few duds.
The duds were saved up especially for Colin Baker.
I’m a Who fan, but just like Dr Crippen, there are some things impossible to defend.
Ladies and gentlemen… I give you…
TIMELASH
Oh dear… where to begin. Perhaps I shall start by pointing out that the title is an anagram of ‘Lame Shit’. That gives you some indication of the quality to expect › Continue reading
Who Is The Phantom Stranger?
DC has over the years had a lot of odd characters, from Deadman (he was… dead) to Detective Chimp (a detective who was a chimp, oddly enough). But by far my favourite was The Phantom Stranger. The Phantom Stranger was what it said on the box – a stranger who was a phantom. No-one, not even the writers knew exactly who he was, and perhaps that was for the best, for nothing spoils a mystery character when you know his secret.
The Phantom Stranger often popped up out of nowhere to give cryptic advice and help, as well as often descending into Hell itself to deal with the demons within. He was a regular in Alan Moore’s Swamp Thing run and also popped up in Animal Man. He always introduced himself as “simply a Stranger” in a voice that always seemed to me very Tom Bakerish. If you could get that effect on the written page.
What were his powers? Well, he had a big hat and white eyes, and sometimes could shoot electricity and um, vanish › Continue reading
I Spy I-Spy Books
I-Spy books can be confidently said to be part of the cultural history of this planet, on par with the works of Leonardo Da Vinci and the holy books of Christianity. Well, actually, no, that was a lie, just a pathetic attempt to make this subject sound remotely interesting.
Childhood was a funny time. So what if there are millions of cartoons on TV, thousands of toys to play with? Sometimes you just wanted to sit outside in the cold clutching a pen and a small book feebly, waiting hopelessly to see the “Black Spotted Filliby bird” › Continue reading
Transformers – Scramble City 2
As all good Transformer fans know (the bad ones don’t get a look in nowadays) the Japanese didn’t get Transformers as the Western world did. Instead of the movie there came to bridge the gap between the second and third seasons an Original Video Animation – Scramble City.
Using the theory of “Pay-For-This-30-Minute-Video,-Scum” they decided they’d make millions from selling it to little kids › Continue reading
Top Ten Graphic Novels (Comics!)
When I was a small little Matt, I was always a big comic reader. But then I grew out of it, prefering more adult pursuits such as collecting small plastic toys. However recently my friends and the dreaded Intarweb got me back into reading comics, though in graphic novel form rather than individual papery comics that fall to bits easily. As a general rule, graphic novels are a run of half a dozen or so comics that collect a few storylines by the same author, so you get more bang for your buck and also sustained quality (in that if it is in graphic novel format, it must have been good, there is no month delay every 24 pages and you don’t run the risk of some half crazed hack randomly wandering in to your book with no warning and ruining it all)
So here are my top ten graphic novel recommendations, for those of you wanting to dip your feet in and read a few. They’re generally not expensive, as an average price can range from £5-£10 which isn’t half bad!
10. Marvels
We’ll start off with an obvious one. Marvels is a miniseries painted by top artist Alex Ross which basically tells the story of the Marvel universe › Continue reading
The He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special
Since the festive season is spluttering into view, it’s time for that annual torture-fest… the Christmas Special! Now, most TV shows have, in their time, had these strange beasts, designed to numb the senses and capture that all-too important audience of comatose, bloated families.
In the weird, twisted world of the Christmas Special, there is only one rule – the characters must realise THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS. The only problem with this is that the sugar overload will have you vomiting for months to come; and let’s not forget those pioneering television stations who feel obliged to repeat their Christmas Specials in July.
Of course, there is no Christmas Special quite so messed up as The He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special.
Ah, the name says it all, doesn’t it, eliminating any doubt – yes, He-Man and She-Ra – working together. What a… treat? In an attempt to pad out this episode to around 45 minutes (yes, 45 minutes… you heard) every trick in the book is pulled out faster than you can say “my brain – noooooo.”
At the forefront of this is the pre-credits sequence! Yes, we open the story with every single character from He-Man and She-Ra that you can think of seemingly vandalising the throne-room on Eternia by painting ghastly purple and pink stars everywhere › Continue reading
The He-Man Annual 1989
As a kid, one of the highlights of the Christmas season were the annuals based upon every… thing in sight, from Dino Riders to Ghostbusters to Transformers. It was an art-form, now lost to time apart from the few Action Man Annuals that seem to crop up in bargain bins everywhere… not that I look or anything. But back in the day (the ‘day’ being the 80’s rather than last Tuesday) there were two main annual companies – Marvel and World. Marvel created quality items based upon licenses such as Thundercats and Transformers, utilizing such talent as Simon Furman, Andy Wildman and Geoff Senior. World, on the other hand, employed their mums to draw and write their products, and their 3-year-old daughters to print them off.
Today, I will look at the He-Man 1989 annual, that great work of the English language, worthy of Mr Shakespeare himself. And by Mr Shakespeare, I mean the Mr Shakespeare who cleans my gutters, not the writer-dude-guy (this is from an English Undergraduate). My critical eye has thusly been cast over this tome, and below are the ten highlights of this… thing. But first, a look at the cover:
Yes, He-Man weakly waving his sword in front of a one-armed Skeletor as King Hiss runs away and a very, very large Hordak tries to leap off Snake Mountain in a bid for attention › Continue reading
Thunderbirds 2086
Those people who know me and don’t spit in my face every other minute (wait, did I say people thus implying a plural?) know that I enjoy collecting strange tapes, mostly cartoons since they are the most entertaining things ever. And thusly I have a collection that includes such ‘amazing’ gems as The Gobots / Rocklords Movie and MASK: The Movie. It was whilst picking up the crippling pain that is MASK: The Movie that I came across something I’d only heard of in huddled whispers, of which only a few, tiny shots and mentions existed on the internet. What was it that piqued my curiosity that fatal day? For as we all know, curiosity killed the Matt. Hell to that, I thought, and so purchased…
Yes, THUNDERBIRDS: 2086 for those who can’t read my dodgy screencaps. Its Thunderbirds in space! An early 80’s Japanese Anime version of Thunderbirds! But a BETTER Thunderbirds, for it has hot girls and spaceships and lasers › Continue reading
Gobots Collision Course Comet!
I was bemoaning my existence on the internet this morning, when my good friend Fulcrum (that’s his REAL NAME, honest. He just had really cruel parents) decided to change this. And make my life much, much worse with the ‘gift’ of a Gobots NOVEL. Or junior book, whatever.
Reading it affected me in many ways. My eyes welled up. With blood. I began to cry. For humanity. So as a lovely gesture, I will let you see the beauty that is…
Collision Course Comet! › Continue reading
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