Tall Tales

Swimming Lessons

The Transformers: Mosaic project is a fan-based project to get artists and writers working together to create fancomics.

This piece was written way back in 2007 but took until this year to find an artist. Once out it was extremely popular, which goes to show that people are obviously unwilling to draw anything that doesn’t feature Wheeljack kissing Starscream or whatever because taking a risk is sCaRy. But as we know now, Seacons RULE!

The wonderful, wonderful Randa Rivera (who, despite the name, is NOT a porn star) did the incredible art and Andy Turnbull provided the letters..

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Thursday, July 29th, 2010 Tall Tales 3 Comments

The Revenge of Yartek, Leader of the Alien Voord

Beware the man who knocks four times

BANG BANG BANG BANG. “HELLO?” Yartek continued to smash the phone against the brickwork. Some rather expensive technology started to crack and splinter under the strain.

Yartek didn’t care. It wasn’t his phone.

“I KNOW you can hear me!” he bellowed, his squeaky, girly voice echoing down the phone line. “I can hear you giggling.”
“That’s better.”
“What do I want? You know what I want? I want back in!”
“Yeah, I want to be in Doctor Who again.”
“Of course you can do it, you’re the producer.”
“Sod off! You brought the MACRA back!”
“I don’t care if they’ve got a good union. Screw the Macra.”
“Oh. Ew.”
“No, really. I’m like, the alien version of Che Guvera.”
“Yeah, I’ve sold millions of posters. Well, one.”
“Look, I’ve got this great idea. Basically I team up with the Borad and lead a crack team of dinosaur-riding Nimon through time and space to… hello?”

Yartek, former leader of the glorious Alien Voord, who once nearly ruled an entire planet sunk to his knees and started crying.

“Oh god pleeeeeease!”

The line went dead. Yartek snarled, throwing the phone angrily at the body of the man he had borrowed it from and slunk back to Voord Towers. He had called his home Voord Towers in the hope that it might convince poncy media-types that he was at the top of his game, but it was in fact just a few cardboard boxes stacked on top of each other covered in fairy lights and situated under a bridge.
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Tuesday, January 5th, 2010 Tall Tales 4 Comments

The Meals Of Sin

The Transformers: Mosaic project is a fan-based project to get artists and writers working together to create fancomics.

After a lot of serious, sensible pieces, I threw a real curveball and produced The Meals Of Sin, a bizarre comic featuring McDonalds Happy Meal toys having an ultra violent fight in the style of Sin City. I was hoping it would upset and confuse people, but people seemed to really really like it. Oh well!

For those of you not experts in the field of Transformers fast food toys (shame on you!), the hero of our tale is the valiant Under-3 and his enemy is the evil Rally’s Rhinox, lovingly known by the fandom as Rallnox.

Due to the immensity of the challenge, Mark Kuggeleijn assisted me with writing duties, and  Andy Turnbull locked himself in a cave, shunning all human contact for ten years in order to truly capture the feel of the art.

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Monday, December 21st, 2009 Tall Tales No Comments

Blackest Night

The Transformers: Mosaic project is a fan-based project to get artists and writers working together to create fancomics.

Blackest Night is another of my one-page Transformer comics, and one of the most popular to date (currently it seems to be neck and neck with Voice In The Dark). It actually isn’t anything to do with DC’s Blackest Night, but it features all the black repaints up to no good, the pun was just too good to resist.

See if you can name all the characters in it, of course if you’re not a die-hard fan, not realising who anyone is shouldn’t spoil it in any way. At least that is the idea. Some of the characters in this were black repainted keyrings from Japan, see if you can spot a keyring loop in one of the panels!

Like with many of my other pieces, I wrote and coloured it, Jake Isenberg did the art, and Mark Kuggeleijn did the lettering.

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Monday, December 21st, 2009 Tall Tales 2 Comments

The Secret Diary of Generation 2 Jazz

The below torrid tale appeared in the TMUK: 25 Years Of Transformers magazine available at the 2009 Auto Assembly convention. It is reproduced here by kind permission of the mag’s editor, Andy Turnbull. Pictures are by the wonderful and crazy Ari.

March 2nd 1993

After years of peace, our worst nightmare has come true – Megatron has returned!

It was another quiet day on Cybertron. The Last Autobot was telling us about the time he scored the winning goal in the 1966 World Cup (he is such a liar) and Hot Rod wouldn’t leave that Primus-damned noisy Cybernet space cube alone. Just as I was about to insert the space cube into Hot Rod in a new and exciting way, the alarms sounded. It seems Megatron survived the destruction of the Ark, and teamed up with a ruthless terrorist organisation named COBRA. Luckily another ruthless terrorist organisation known as GI Joe was on hand to feed us intel from the scene.

Megatron is now a sweet green tank. He’s painted his face purple and shouts ‘Megatron Attack!’ a lot.

Since the end of the war, Optimus had been much less visible, retiring to a life of peace and calm. When he saw the reports however, he grew agitated, jumping up and down and demanding his own voice unit. I think he may currently be painting his trailer black. An elite team has been dispatched to take out Megatron.

 autobotzattack

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Saturday, December 19th, 2009 Tall Tales 7 Comments

The Final Lesson

The Transformers: Mosaic project is a fan-based project to get artists and writers working together to create fancomics.

Below is my piece, entitled ‘The Final Lesson’ featuring the super-duper obscure character The Student from the Marvel UK comics. Of course, it is written from the point of view that the reader will have no idea who he is, so all the information you need is there.

I wrote and coloured it, Jake Isenberg did the art, and Mark Kuggeleijn did the lettering. And I think it came out really well. Check the bitchin’ moustache at the end!

 
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Tuesday, September 8th, 2009 Tall Tales 2 Comments

Up Is Down, Black Is White

The Transformers: Mosaic project is a fan-based project to get artists and writers working together to create fancomics.

Below is my piece, entitled ‘Up Is Down, Black Is White’ with art by the fantastic Bryan Sevilla. Seriously, how good is that art!

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Friday, August 21st, 2009 Tall Tales 1 Comment

A Voice In The Dark

The Transformers: Mosaic project is a fan-based project to get artists and writers working together to create fancomics.

Below is my piece, entitled ‘A Voice In The Dark’, featuring the very obscure characters Sky High and Submarauder. Submarauder isn’t even named, which is a deliberate choice on my side. I wrote and coloured it, Jake Isenberg did the art, and Mark Kuggeleijn did the lettering. And honestly, it is probably my favourite piece yet, which frustrates me because however much I try, I can’t write anything better!

 
 
 
 
 

 

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Wednesday, August 19th, 2009 Tall Tales 4 Comments

The Adventures of Tom Jane Punisher

Who is Tom Jane Punisher? Don’t you know? Are you stupid?

2004 saw The Punisher Movie, starring Tom Jane. Tom Jane Punisher was awesome, as he attacked villains with ice lollys, and spent lots of time building cars only to have them smashed to bits a moment later.

I got very excited when I heard there would be another film starring Tom Jane Punisher. Apparently he would be fighting a living jigsaw or something. But then my mind began to wander, and I found out the truth – that it would be a film entirely about Tom Jane Punisher’s attempts to steal ice cream from a polar bear armed only with a gigantic spoon. › Continue reading

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Wednesday, February 18th, 2009 Tall Tales 1 Comment

Güvercinlik satılık villa Güvercinlik satılık daire Güvercinlik kiralık daire

Güvercinlik satılık daire ; Muğla vilayetinin Bodrum ilçesine bağlı bir köydür.  Muğla iline 100 km, Bodrum ilçesine 20 km uzaklıktadır. Güvercinlik doğal ve doyumsuz güzelliğinin yanında, karşısında bulunan Salih Adası ile de ilgi çekmektedir. Doğa ve denizin muhteşem bir uyumudur bu bölge. İklim olarak,  Akdeniz iklimi içerisindedir.

Güvercinlik kiralık daire ; Beldenin ekonomisi tarım ve balıkçılığa dayanır. Ulaşımı kolay olan bölgeye çok sayıda ziyaretçi gelmektedir.  Siz de bu  sessiz ve sakin şehirde yaşamak istiyorsanız , elinizi çabuk tutun uygun fiyatlarla satışa sunulan  bu yapıları kaçırmayın. Köyde eğitim taşımalı olarak devam etmektedir.

Güvercinlik satılık villa ; Uygun kredi olanaklarının da sunulduğu bu güzel villalarda yaşamaya doyamayacaksınız. Üstelik yatırım amaçlı da kullanabilirsiniz. Yazın dayalı döşeli olarak günlük ya da aylık kiraya verebilirsiniz.  Hayalleriniz için harekete geçin.

Sunday, February 15th, 2009 Tall Tales No Comments