Alpha Trion vs Emirate Xaaron
For years there has been one question that has burned within humanity, one truth needing to be discovered before the dawning of perfection. No, not the path to eternal life, nor the location of Atlantis, but…
Who would win –
Alpha Trion vs Emirate Xaaron
What do you mean who are they? Like Rocky vs Mr T; God versus Satan, this eternal struggle is one that has gripped the nation… oh all right, I admit I didn’t know who Alpha Trion was until a few years ago, being a Brit. But both were leaders of the Autobots, Alpha Trion in the cartoon, Xaaron in the comic. Nope, not Prime, he was just the military commander, don’tcha know? Anyhow, since they both occupy the same position… one has to go. And so in my truly unbiased way, I shall compare Emirate Xaaron, hero of my childhood, with the filthy scum called Alpha Trion.
Looks
First off, we shall examine Emirate Xaaron. Now, both these characters are extremely old, being the bosses and all. Let’s look at Xaaron 4 million years ago:
Xaaron obviously hasn’t been getting much sleep lately, judging by the black rings around his eyes. Well, with the evil Cons pushing ever closer to Iacon, cold you blame him? Also a bit chubby… but by the time we meet him in the present he looks like this:
See, in the intervening years, Xaaron has got fit… lost a bit of weight. He’s obviously a very health-conscious Bot. And he’s shiny-shiny-shiny gold. Mmm. Not that I’m biased or anything. When he moved to the US comic, Xaaron even had the foresight to buy a new can of gold paint and colour his head gold too. Clever, brave chap.
And now we come to Alpha Trion:
Look at yourself man – a disgrace! Call yourself leader of the Autobots? Alpha Trion tries too hard.. with his weird red and blue clothes and freakish facial hair. Take a shave, Xaaron did. Trion has decided to mock his position via the wearing of comedy Timmy-Mallet-style glasses, deriding his cause. How can you take someone like that seriously?
Round 1:
Trion 0
Xaaron 1
Tidiness
Being leader-types, both characters had their own bases. But which has kept theirs the most tidy?
We can see Xaaron’s base is quite tidy… I bet he tidies it himself, being the brave soul that he is, never afraid to muck in with the chaps. But he has one flaw – he can never seem to keep it tidy for long – there’s always someone popping round to muck everything up
Tut
Aaaw
So Xaaron loses a few points here. But consider this – it’s only a massive explosion or the servants of the Dark God Unicron himself who possibly have the power to muck up Xaaron’s sweeping, and that’s got to count for something.
What about Alpha Trion then? Looking at his base, it looks very clean.. suspiciously clean, one might say. Almost as if he doesn’t use it! He must be like those rabid fan collectors who buy a video but don’t open it, instead keeping it in it’s packaging to be admired, or in Trion’s case, keeping a Megadeath Killazap 9000 ray in it’s box rather than use it against the Decepticons. Such shoddy leadership should be mocked!
It’s also worth noting how secret Trion’s base is. In the Transformer episode “The Search For Alpha Trion,” Optimus Prime’s girlfriend/sister (I’ll explain later) is mortally injured – and Prime must find her creator, Alpha Trion, to repair her! And so begins the titular Search For Alpha Trion… except that in the very next scene, Prime has found Trion’s base. Not very secret now, is it, hmm? It’s laxity like that that loses Trion this round.
Round 2:
Trion 0
Xaaron 2
Transformation
Neither of these characters had a toy. The explanation for this is simple – Trion wasn’t popular enough, and any toy of Xaaron would have been a mockery – he was much too cool. So their alternate-modes are a mystery, since neither Transformed. Still, there are clues as to their vehicle modes.
First up, Xaaron. Now, we know he has a vehicle mode, since in the classic UK story “City of Fear” he was up against an insane Autobot, and had to try to transform into his battle mode – but the strain might kill him! How heroic! As it happened, he was able to whump Flame’s aft single-handedly with only a tiny amount of help from Trypticon and half the Autobot army, so we never discover his alternate mode. But I bet it’s something damn devastating, Xaaron being cool and everything. The little paper figure of Xaaron that sits on my computer has an alt mode of a hovercraft. And that’s good enough for me.
Alpha Trion however, is a trickier problem. From the look of him, he has no discernible alt-mode. However, using my l33t photo-manipulation skillz, I can accurately reproduce what his alt-mode most definitely IS, by taking all things such as the degree of plate rotation and the shape of his body as a guide. Below is his alternate mode. The process I have used is so accurate that there is no chance of error:
As can be seen, Trion’s alt-mode is not very practical at all. Xaaron wins again.
Round 3:
Trion 0
Xaaron 3
Bravery
How brave are these respective characters though?
Xaaron is certainly very brave, as he is so cool. Just look at his single-handedly taking on of a psychotic madman on his own as mentioned before. And in Target:2006 he needed bait for a trap.. so he used himself instead. What a guy! Of course, Xaaron had a Spock complex, but that’s hardly a failing now, is it? Always wanting to chuck himself in nuclear reactors and all that…
Trion by comparison is a different matter. What’s wrong old man, too afraid to venture outside from your ’secret’ base? Just want to cower in darkness and send women out to do your work? You sicken me.
Xaaron wins.
Round 4:
Trion 0
Xaaron 4
Attitude
But what are the personalities of the characters in question though? Xaaron is obviously a right hard-ass, as seen from the picture of him 4 million years ago at the top of the page. He calls Tomaandi a fool! See – no-one messes with Xaaron without being dissed, not even Tomaandi! Let us see another example to Xaaron’s cool powers:
The scene so far – the Micromaster Battle Patrol have been captured and dissected by the Decepticons.
Roadhandler thinks he knows what going on. He ASSUMES too much – watch out Roadhandler, Xaaron’s about to DISS YOUR ASS.
And there it comes, from the hard man himself. Tough Xaaron! Diss Roadhandler, Xaaron! Heh, you sure made him think twice with your bad-ass muther-f*cking attitude.
Alpha Trion’s attitude on the other hand is decidedly more dodgy. I spoke earlier about the episode The Search For Alpha Trion. Prime takes the damaged Elita-1 to Alpha Trion to be repaired. Now, later in the series it is revealed that Alpha Trion rebuilt a guy called Orion Pax into Optimus Prime, as well as building Elita-1. So they are technically siblings. And lovers. Eeew. If this wasn’t bad enough this, this disgusting, dirty old man tells Prime that the only way to save her is to take a plug from Prime’s lower torso and ‘plug’ it into Elita’s lower torso. Eeew, kinky. Obviously Alpha Trion is some kind of weird pervert. So he loses.
Round 5:
Trion 0
Xaaron 5
Death
Being leader-types, both of these characters had to die. Now, I don’t know too much about Alpha Trion’s death, but apparently he had to merge with the super-computer Vector Sigma. Erm… woo
Xaaron, on the other hand, merged with a freaking GOD! Yup, he combined with Primus, the creator of the Transformer race, and took on Unicron himself. See, that’s slightly better than a poxy computer. And what’s more, Xaaron nearly beat Unicron.
He. Nearly. Beat. Unicron.
Only Unicron was powerful enough to kill Xaaron – that’s how amazingly tough Xaaron was. And look how scared Unicron was when Xaaron DISSED him. He’s dissin’ you, Unicron! Run!
Round 6:
Trion 0
Xaaron 6
And so we come to the end of our study. In this fair, unbiased, scientific test, Emirate Xaaron has come out on top, proving him to rule all. And that, my friends, is why a paper model of Emirate Xaaron sits atop my computer, rather than that pretender to the throne, Trion.
And as for Alpha Trion?
Look, he’s covered in flies. Millions of filthy, filthy flies for a filthy, filthy man.
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Agreed.
Haha. Never thought I’d see a blog about these two. Xaaron (or whatever) though should lose about 4 million points though just for being the lamest Transformer ever to grace fiction and not to mention the ugliest. Somebody cut those strings in his mouth!
Bull. Alpha Trion is so cool when not doing anything at all that before his Shattered Glass counterpart even did anything people are already afraid.