It’s not easy being an international Turtle of Mystery, you have to forsake most material goods if your bag is Scorpion Whispering. Because scorpion shit stains like hell. As Barry and I lie curled together on my wooden cot, however, straw mattress opening sores in my neck, I cry bitter tears of remorse for my empty bachelor hut. Here is some stuff I want.
10) A gun. A really big gun. People tell me that this is something phallic-related, but I don’t care as I have a huge wang. So there. I want a great big shiny gun that I can scare children with as they queue for the school bus. › Continue reading