Like most kids my age, I grew up reading the delightful Thomas the Tank Engine books by the Rev W V Awdry, and watching the accompanying television series narrated by Ringo Starr about the adventures of the scampish train Thomas and all his friends.
Thomas would have adventures where he had to deliver some cargo, or had to deal with a nasty carriage. But there was always that niggling thought – what if Thomas the Tank Engine had not been developed in rural England? What if it had been created in Japan, and Thomas, Percy and James merged at the end of each episode to form an unstoppable robot engine of destruction to crush their enemies?
Enter SUPER ROBOT TRANSFORMABLE TOMAS › Continue reading
As the title indicates, this article is a chance to see items of mine that aren’t Transformers. Actually, that’s a little bit misleading, since most things aren’t Transformers. I could easily fill this page up with pictures of sticks and frogs and say “That’s not a Transformer.” But that would be stupid.
Despite the lure of doing something as stupid as that, I decided to do something sensible. And so I abused my new digital camera that I borrowed for the weekend, running down it’s batteries and reducing it to a pile of smouldering plastic. Still, it was worth it.
Searching about in my attic (Which was insanely hot by the way) I found a lot of transforming things that were not Transformers, be they fakes or just “new original concepts, not at all jumping on the bandwagon.” A lot of these guys were just interesting, so I thought it’d be good to display them. Plus I’ve not seen them anywhere else on the net.
Case 1 – Lion Man
The only thing I know about this toy is that it came from a supermarket, probably ASDA, after a bout of moaning › Continue reading
Like a moth to a flame, I am constantly burnt on the searing, deadly heat of Poundland. Thankfully everything there costs exactly a pound (except for the things that don’t) so I won’t be sacrificing my wallet on the altar of poverty just yet.
I am however addicted to buying hilariously awful knockoff toys. Most of them go straight in the bin after a few minutes of curious fiddling since they break so easily, but its a nice, inexpensive way to broaden your toy-collecting horizons (to include even more plastic crap).
Anyway I have no willpower, so the last time I was near a cheap shop, I wandered in there to see what I could find. Sometimes they have end-of-line quality official goods. But not this time. This time they had more awful knock-off tat!
So lets see what the latest the bargain bins of the UK can offer…
As a kid, I loved Getaway. He had a cool transformation, looked sleek and unique, was a racecar, and a Powermaster. You name it, he had it. So I was rather excited to get this cheap knockoff to relive past victories.
Unfortunately Getaway is probably the worst knockoff I’ve seen › Continue reading
In my latest odyssey, I take a look at the dark murky world of knockoffs, such as bright orange movie ratchet, and brown Leobreaker
And then I test their plastic tolerance
I’m not a big fan of going shopping on the weekends. There’s the crush of people all clawing and shoving at each other, there are the legions of welfare mums with five prams each, and little old ladies doddering about everywhere in front of you. Sadly my work shoes exploded on me so I was forced to run the gauntlet of Birmingham City Centre to find replacements.
My shopping trip brought me to Poundland (no, I wasn’t going to buy shoes there, god). Poundland is a cheap UK shop where everything costs a pound, surprisingly enough. It is usually full of the lowest of the low, the chaviest of the chavs and, well, me.
Looking at their toy aisle for exciting knockoffs to write about, I was saddened to see that their ‘Armada Optimus Prime Squad’ line of toys was no longer in stock. What they did have however, was a set of gigantic Multiforce knockoffs! Wresting the chewed cards out of the hands of screaming children, I took my prizes and ran for the exit!
Multiforce was a line of Transformers released in Japan as part of the Victory line in 1989. Together they formed the gestalt Landcross. Now, Multiforce were small. Very small. So small in fact that they were pretty much Micromasters and indeed were sold as such in the reissue line › Continue reading