I like to consider myself a hardcore coke addict. Not for me the tangy, acrid and opaque allure of the water from the taps. No, it is burning death to my insides all the way. During periods of stress, I tend to consume so much of it that I get diabetes from all the sugar. Luckily, I then consume even more, so like a second smash on the head, the incurable illness is cured!
For the uneducated masses, I shall give a lesson in the history of coke. But since no uneducated masses are reading this, I won’t. This is lucky as I haven’t a clue, apart from the fact that if you cover a corpse in coke and leave it for four days, there won’t be a trace left. And I only know that from personal experience…
It was on Saturday then, that I found myself wandering up to Birmingham City Centre for the sole reason of picking up some anime for my ‘friend’, Kevin. Kevin had arranged to meet a scary bloke, but instead decided that he needed to go to Bristol for no reason. So I had to make an hour round trek, because I’m a lovely, selfless guy (and so I could pick up some Transformer comics). On my way, I passed Tescos, and popped in since I needed some food for the weekend, having an empty cupboard. Working on the principle that Sherbet Lemons and Pretzels did indeed constitute a healthy meal to last 48 hours, my basket was soon full. Until I came across the coke section, with myriad different cokes. I was in heaven, and soon my hands were twisted and scarred from lugging around shopping bags full of different cans of coke.
So then I decided to totally destroy any chance I had remaining of being healthy, by drinking them all in one go and reviewing them
From the picture above was my battle plan. Sherbet Lemons and pretzels to keep me wanting more coke. Coke, Diet Coke, Caffeine-free coke › Continue reading