Transformer
Actionmaster Thundercracker
Quite a few people have asked me to write about Actionmasters and make fun of them. They’re an easy target – Transformer who don’t transform! What hilarity could come from this?
Of course, there is only one problem there – I think they’re fantastic.
Okay, so they don’t transform. But they’re not supposed to. You don’t criticise GI Joe toys for not having holograms in their chests, do you? In 1990 Hasbro rolled out a new line of figures to try to reinvigorate the ailing Transformers line. They were the Actionmasters.. The idea was to make cartoon / comic accurate toys (because seriously the original Transformers were brick statues that sometimes looked a bit like they did in the cartoons) who were cheap and easy to collect.
For the price of a really expensive original, you could get a pile of characters like Grimlock, Blaster, Shockwave, and even some new ones too. They even came with transforming weapons / backpacks that were all interchangeable, and there were transforming vehicles. They weren’t supposed to be transforming, they were supposed to be fun, collectable and playable, and they did all that and more!
Sadly the line died in America. But in the UK Transformers never went away and so we got a lot more releases including more waves of Actionmasters, some strange Japanese repaints and other unique molds. Today though I’m going to talk about one of the most awesome Actionmasters – Actionmaster Thundercracker.
Sadly I don’t own him, but these pictures were donated by Ralph Burns, a UK fan who makes videos about Thundercracker hunting for sausages to cure the gnawing madness within.
Actionmaster Thundercracker is so bizarre it isn’t true. Most of the Actionmasters were attempts to replicate the original cartoon models, but instead of just slapping some blue paint on the Starscream mold, Hasbro seemed to sit down and take some incredible drugs. › Continue reading
Transformer Knock-Offs – The Best Of Poundland
Like a moth to a flame, I am constantly burnt on the searing, deadly heat of Poundland. Thankfully everything there costs exactly a pound (except for the things that don’t) so I won’t be sacrificing my wallet on the altar of poverty just yet.
I am however addicted to buying hilariously awful knockoff toys. Most of them go straight in the bin after a few minutes of curious fiddling since they break so easily, but its a nice, inexpensive way to broaden your toy-collecting horizons (to include even more plastic crap).
Anyway I have no willpower, so the last time I was near a cheap shop, I wandered in there to see what I could find. Sometimes they have end-of-line quality official goods. But not this time. This time they had more awful knock-off tat!
So lets see what the latest the bargain bins of the UK can offer…
Getaway
As a kid, I loved Getaway. He had a cool transformation, looked sleek and unique, was a racecar, and a Powermaster. You name it, he had it. So I was rather excited to get this cheap knockoff to relive past victories.
Unfortunately Getaway is probably the worst knockoff I’ve seen › Continue reading
Chase Must Die!
There are dark, fiendish creatures which lurk in the annals of Transformer history, forever at the edge of your vision, leaping in and out of sight like little pixies, or tax return forms. They look innocent enough, sure. But once you get under their shell… [shudder]
The original 2 years or so of Transformers were taken straight from Japan. Realistic vehicle modes were built, often using quality die-cast metal. But by the time of the dreaded Throttlebots it was mostly American ingenuity creating these things. Like the above cars – look at the Landrover and it’s lying windscreen – it has no glass, just stickers of a scene. Unlike the other one. Why should the Landrover get special treatment, I don’t know. Perhaps everyone thought he was tough-ass Brawn instead of wussy Rollbar?
But today I shall focus my irrational hatred at the guy on the left – Mr so-called Chase. At first, he looks perfectly innocent – but NO. Look… closer:
PROFILE OF A MORON
It’s Chase, the Throttlebot. The guy with no legs and no arms. He’s just a body › Continue reading
In Praise Of Polar Claw
My shelf is a strange place, with many different objects and creatures (such as my cat) trying to climb upon it to be ridiculed by everyone, instead of just me. One such recent addition to this shelf of mockery is none other than a Beast Wars Transformer – Polar Claw! But what has Polar Claw, a big fat polar bear, actually done to deserve such an honour? Lets take a look at him…
Here we can see Polar Claw in all his manly glory. And when I say manly, I really mean “like some fat guy wearing tights” › Continue reading
Superion Is Super!
When He-Man returned, all the He-Man fans were busy mocking those who collected Transformers (oh yeah, the inter-fandom network can be quite cutthroat), for He-Man had returned exactly as it used to be. And perhaps that was the problem, as kids nowadays are more sophisticated than just wanting an elastic band in the waist of their toys.
Hasbro with Transformers though, brought out products that were, too the horror of collectors, ‘kiddified toys’ (well IMAGINE!). But sprinkled liberally throughout there were homages to the classic series, but in new, updated forms. Perhaps the best of these was Superion.
When I was small, I collected Transformers. Every other week I would go down to ASDA with my mum shopping and spend my pocket money on them, I collected all the Aerialbots that way. As you can imagine they were planes, and combined to form the mighty robot Superion. He’s still at home, but below are some pictures of him, and please remember that when I was small these guys were impressive, though even I realised they were a little samey.
Silverbolt was the big guy. He had an hilariously tiny head though and looked like an old man › Continue reading
Knocked Off
In my latest odyssey, I take a look at the dark murky world of knockoffs, such as bright orange movie ratchet, and brown Leobreaker
And then I test their plastic tolerance
Transformers Review – Universe Acid Storm
Trying something new now – video podcasts! Or rather, VODCASTS as I will call them.
The Nine Billion Modes Of Scavenger
Recently, I acquired a Transformer toy. Whilst such things are not an amazingly rare and life-shattering event, this was a Beast Machines toy, something neon orange and green, something with no face and skinny legs, something… sinister. Despite the startling resemblance to my sister, the purchase was still made.
And what a pretty boy Scavenger is, with his evil raisin-like head, and alt-mode of a…thingy › Continue reading
King Of Knock-Offs – Landcross
I’m not a big fan of going shopping on the weekends. There’s the crush of people all clawing and shoving at each other, there are the legions of welfare mums with five prams each, and little old ladies doddering about everywhere in front of you. Sadly my work shoes exploded on me so I was forced to run the gauntlet of Birmingham City Centre to find replacements.
My shopping trip brought me to Poundland (no, I wasn’t going to buy shoes there, god). Poundland is a cheap UK shop where everything costs a pound, surprisingly enough. It is usually full of the lowest of the low, the chaviest of the chavs and, well, me.
Looking at their toy aisle for exciting knockoffs to write about, I was saddened to see that their ‘Armada Optimus Prime Squad’ line of toys was no longer in stock. What they did have however, was a set of gigantic Multiforce knockoffs! Wresting the chewed cards out of the hands of screaming children, I took my prizes and ran for the exit!
Multiforce was a line of Transformers released in Japan as part of the Victory line in 1989. Together they formed the gestalt Landcross. Now, Multiforce were small. Very small. So small in fact that they were pretty much Micromasters and indeed were sold as such in the reissue line › Continue reading
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