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Trapdoor – Spectrum Style!

Somewhere in the dark and nasty regions, where nobody goes, stands an ancient castle. Deep within this dank and uninviting place lives Berk.

 Hullo.

Overworked servant of the Thing upstairs.

BERK – FEED ME!

But that’s nothing compared to the horrors that lurk beneath the trapdoor. For there is always something down there, in the dark, waiting to come out…

#Don’t you open that trapdoor#
#You’re a fool if you dare#
#Stay away from that trapdoor#
#Cos there’s something down there# › Continue reading

Tags: spectrum, Trapdoor, walkthrough

Maple Story! CC PLOX!

Sometimes I think Dante got his circles of hell wrong. He postulated that the further you go, the more horrendous the punishment, from limbo down to storms to a city of devils to boiling oil and finally in the ninth circle, the fate of being frozen alive forever, guarded by Lucifer himself. Recently however I have discovered a further circle, even deeper with an even more diabolical punishment. Sinners are chained forever to their chairs, eyes glazed over at their computer screen repeatedly tapping the enter key as they attempt to level up their dwarf, trusty bottle by their side (because going to the toilet wastes precious leveling time)

Yes, I am talking about the world of MMPORGS

For a time, my productivity had delved to an even lower level than usual (no mean feat) with my discovery of the wonderful world of online gaming. No more was I a lonely nerd sitting at my desk – I could play with other lonely nerds online and thus climb the nerd hierarchy! › Continue reading

Tags: Maple Story, Meso, walkthrough

Icewind Dale – The Ultimate Walkthrough!

Currently, via a CD ROM kindly leant to me by a friend without his knowledge, I have been hacking my way through Icewind Dale, a game like Baldur’s Gate, only colder. That’s all you need to know. Well, that and the fact that you must make up a team of six characters and watch as they die horribly… I mean beat up Goblins and suchlike. Yeah. But it’s a hard game. Very hard. So in order to help all those new at this game, and not as skilled as me, I have decided to create a walkthrough. Huzzah!

First, you will need to create your own set of six characters. Since I have already completed this game, I shall use the characters I already had. This will, however, result in the fact that mine will be insanely powerful, whilst yours will be as weak as a newborn kitten. But that just means you’re not trying hard enough. Did Henry the Eighth give up when his craft, Apollo 13, nearly crashed on Mars? No, I think not. Now for a run-down of my characters:

1 – Jerry Springer

Every cut-and-thrust party needs an embittered fighter, a man whose entire life has been spent in conquest of one form or another, for whom war is the only life they’ve ever known. More importantly however is the fact that every cut-and-thrust party needs a third-rate chatshow host. I decided to choose Jerry Springer, since I reasoned that his sharp wit would be able to cut through any goblin horde. I was wrong though › Continue reading

Tags: Baldur's Gate, Icewind Dale, Not Warcraft, walkthrough