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Hardcore Roleplay

Today, I’m going to treat you to…something different. Some of my real-life (gasp!) friends regularly roleplay on MSN in a hardcore manner. These dedicated gamers were in trouble tonight though, since their regular storyteller got ‘a life’. It was up to me to fill in and help these poor souls gain a precious few seconds entertainment in their barren, empty lives. And yes, I know they’re reading this. To help you:

Korell – Dan – MSN Roleplaying scum

Que – John – Shirt wearing, MSN Roleplaying scum

Sliced To Decorate Soup – Kevin – Past Housemate Scum

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana – Cathy – Past Housemate Scum

Gatchaman / SOTORY T3LAR – Me – Your hero, who cunningly changes his name halfway through

 

Korell: Hey there

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: what?

Korell: Hi. How are you?

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: fin thx

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: you?

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: FINE

Sliced to Decorate Soup: wow, someone else

Sliced to Decorate Soup: it’s like we have friends!

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: yeah!

Gatchaman: Cor

Korell: yep. I was telling Matt and Kev here, that I got my house to myself at the moment. Parents on holiday. FREEDOM!

Gatchaman: ASL?

Gatchaman: ASL????///

Gatchaman: d00d

Korell: STOP IT MATT!

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: oneone

Gatchaman: d000000d

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: wtf hi

Gatchaman: OMG

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: roxxor

Gatchaman: LOL

Korell: ARG!

Korell: I HATE LEET

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: dan, thought you were living with kate + john +liz

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: ONEONE

Gatchaman: ONNNNE

Korell: Yep I am, but not moved in yet.

Sliced to Decorate Soup: dan – its not called leet

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: 1337

Gatchaman: It’s l33t

Sliced to Decorate Soup: it’s L33T

Korell: l33t

Sliced to Decorate Soup: or even 1337

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: 1337

Gatchaman: l337

Gatchaman: 1337

Sliced to Decorate Soup: j0 d00d u sux0r

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: j00 = fail

Gatchaman: j00 = teh l0Z3r

Korell: I am with Kate and John at the moment though, as we were supposed to be online roleplaying, but it not happening so here I am.

Sliced to Decorate Soup: me = teh win

Gatchaman: We’ll be your roleplay buddies. I bagsy STORYTELLER

Sliced to Decorate Soup: dan – so we’re the SECOND CHOICE?

Korell: I was playing Red Alert 2 before I came online

Que has been added to the conversation.

Sliced to Decorate Soup: go on then Matt. I want to be Elvis.

SOTORY T3LAR: OKAY

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: 4lw4y5 n1c3 +0 h4v3 +h3 h0u53 t0 j00r54lf

SOTORY T3LAR: Cathy – you’re Mike Oldfield

Que: oh… hello all!

Sliced to Decorate Soup: hi john

SOTORY T3LAR: John, you’re Jon Bon Jovi

Korell: Hi John, oh you sitting next to me, well, I don’t know.

SOTORY T3LAR: Dan, you can be Britney Spears

SOTORY T3LAR: RIGHT?

Que: what can I say… I’m the one and only

Korell: ARG!

SOTORY T3LAR: Are we ready?

Sliced to Decorate Soup: uh huh huh

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: i don’;t wanna be mike oldfield

SOTORY T3LAR: …

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: i wanna be …

Sliced to Decorate Soup: …

SOTORY T3LAR: …

Sliced to Decorate Soup: [drumroll]

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: john lennon

SOTORY T3LAR: OKAY

SOTORY T3LAR: Right, you’re in a big, big room. Full of torches. There’s a big panel on the floor, and a giant red button on the wall. There are no doors

Sliced to Decorate Soup: look at button

Que: PUSH THE BUTTON!

SOTORY T3LAR: The button is big and red

SOTORY T3LAR: Jon Bon Jovi pushes the button. The pit OPENS!

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: push the button!

Sliced to Decorate Soup: grr, my sister is picking on me

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: do we fall in?

SOTORY T3LAR: John Lennon pushes the button TOO LATE

SOTORY T3LAR: No

Sliced to Decorate Soup: she is kicking me off the computert

SOTORY T3LAR: BUT

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: Aww poor story teller

Sliced to Decorate Soup: *computer

Sliced to Decorate Soup: bye

SOTORY T3LAR: Bye

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: she can’t!

Sliced to Decorate Soup has left the conversation.

Korell: Seeya

SOTORY T3LAR: From the pit comes HOWLING

SOTORY T3LAR: BUT THE WALLS ARE NOW MOVING IN

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: L33TN3SS

Korell: Britney starts singing

SOTORY T3LAR: The howling turns to whimpering

SOTORY T3LAR: -3 on all your defenses

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: who’s britney?

SOTORY T3LAR: Dan

Korell: (hmm

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: Oh sorry

Korell: (Matt’s idea, not mine)

Que: “I AMMMMMMMMMMMM…….. THE ONE AND ONLYYYYYYYYYY. NOBODY I’ED RATHER BE……….”

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: change your names, i get confused

Korell: (But that means doing something)

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: so do it, it isn’t that hard

SOTORY T3LAR: So anyway, THE WALLS ARE NOW MOVING IN, AND FIRE IS SHOOTING FROM THEM AND SO ARE BEES. The only way out is via.. THE PIT

SOTORY T3LAR: What do you do?

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: jump in the pit of course!

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: ONEONE

Korell: Jumo in

SOTORY T3LAR: Of COURSE

Que: dive into the pit head first of course!

SOTORY T3LAR: In the pit are A MILLION LIGERS!

SOTORY T3LAR: They surround you

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: LIGERS???????

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: w

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: t

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: f

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: s

Que: “oops”

SOTORY T3LAR: http://www.greenapple.com/~jorp/amzanim/liger.jpg

SOTORY T3LAR: That is a liger. Imagine one million of them

Que: http://www.engrish.com/

SOTORY T3LAR: Is that your IC MOVE, JOHN?

SOTORY T3LAR: Are you not taking this seriously?

Que: yup

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: it’s a tiger with no stripse

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: i;ve been conned1

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: 11

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: So, FAKE tigers are coming at us

SOTORY T3LAR: Okay. So John tells them the address of a humourous website, whilst Cathy moans about their lack of stripes

SOTORY T3LAR: Dan?

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: j00 f4k3 t1g3rz

Korell: Just sits around looking pretty

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: i r use my l33t skillz

SOTORY T3LAR: Eee

Korell: (I h8 l33t)

Que: starts serenading the ligers, one of them has to be a fan!

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: ONONE

SOTORY T3LAR: The ligers have too much taste to be a Bon Jovi fan. BUT Cathy’s l33t skillz DESTROY THEM ALL in a MASSIVE l33t FIREBALL which is K3wl d00dz.

SOTORY T3LAR: BUT THEN

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: k3wl

SOTORY T3LAR: GHANDI APPEARS FLYING USING GIANT BAT WINGS AND SHOOTING FIREBALLS

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: ONO

SOTORY T3LAR: What do you do now?

SOTORY T3LAR: I KNOW!

Korell: ARG!

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: wh4t iz GHANDI

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: FAKE GANDHI????

SOTORY T3LAR: YES

SOTORY T3LAR: His REAL identity

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: ONOS

SOTORY T3LAR: So he’s flying with GIANT BAT WINGS shooting fireballs from his EYES.

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: AIIEEEEE!

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: [girlie scream]

Korell: “Hit me baby, one more time”

Que: looks blank at the thought of somebody not being a fan

SOTORY T3LAR: http://sprott.physics.wisc.edu/pickover/gandhi.jpg

SOTORY T3LAR: To stimulate you in this scene

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: yes, kill the harmless little old man

SOTORY T3LAR: Bat-GANDHI swoops down and attacks using OLD MAN POWERS. He shoots D-6s from his mouth instead of teeth. But then the US ARMY appear in TANKS no less

Korell: Harmless? He shooting FIREBALLS from hi EYES

SOTORY T3LAR: TANKS, people

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: hit the us army for being capitalist pigs

SOTORY T3LAR: US army takes damage +56

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: ONEONE

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: ph33r my l34t skillz

Korell: Seduces one of the soldiers from the tanks, grabs his gun, shoots him then shoots Ghandi.

SOTORY T3LAR: The soldier easily wrestles the gun off the 70% plastic Britney, and takes her roughly from behind

SOTORY T3LAR: Your move, John

Korell: “Oops, I did it again.”

SOTORY T3LAR: Bwah

Que: runs over to britney, shoves off the soldier and goes in himself…

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: EW

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: i don’t have to take this stuff

SOTORY T3LAR: The plastic in Britney was actually C5

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: /me kills you both

SOTORY T3LAR: They BOTH DIE

SOTORY T3LAR: So it’s now just Cathy vs Gandhi

Que: “….argh….”

Korell: BANG!

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: w00t

SOTORY T3LAR: Look, I’m SORRY John, but if you’re going to do blatantly suicidal things like try to have sex with Britney Spears…

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: /me kills gandhi

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: a lot

SOTORY T3LAR: Gandhi dies

SOTORY T3LAR: THE END

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: ONEONE

Korell: WAHEY!

SOTORY T3LAR: See, you didn’t need Liz!

Korell: So, you keeping that one then Matt?

SOTORY T3LAR: What one?

Korell: This one. This ROLEPLAY, if it can be called that.

SOTORY T3LAR: I shall, yesss

Amphibious Sasquatch Banana: CLASSIC

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