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Tabletop Role-Playing

I wish I were a role-player
My eyes so bright and gay
Be a drop-out student by night
And an evil dwarf by day

I’d while away my working hours
Designing scenarios for the game
And if people asked why I was drawing a tower
I’d simply admit I was insane

I wish I were a role-player
I certainly have the physique
Pale-skinned, unwashed and lanky,
On that you can’t critique

I have had no past relationships
That stands me in good stead
For who needs love and fun and quips
When your favourite dwarf is dead?

I wish I were a role-player
I have the cash to burn
On die and cards and special figures
So I can shout with glee: “My turn!”

Sitting with you weirdos, I assert
I think I’d do just fine
With my black old dirty Pratchett shirt
And my IQ of sixty-nine

I wish I were a role-player
It is my life’s ambition
Please let me join your game:
I’ve even written a petition

My friends would enviously cry
My life would be full of sun
However, that’s a bit of a lie
Because of friends, I have none.

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Tags: poem, Tabletop Roleplaying

2 Comments to Tabletop Role-Playing

1. Awwwwwwwww.

   -Ralph
Ralph Burns on February 12th, 2009

2. Takes me back to my days playing MSH, Warhammer and 40k and of course the game of legends – Hero Quest!!!!!
Andy Turnbull on March 7th, 2009

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